Zion Waits

A silent page looks back at me, like these silent regrets.
And all my fears are haunting me, spreading silky nets.
Because I am the way I am, I feel the things I feel.
Beware of those who say, like me: Emotions are not real.
Can such a thing begin to change: The heart of hurting men?
Cruel world it is, and so much more to be where I have been.
Dare I write of anything, for words from me just fall.
Does anything from anyone make any sense at all?
Everything has been denied, yet granted just the same.
Enjoy this life while you abide beside the lion tame.
For in a while, or yesterday, a drastic thing has passed.
Forget, forgive, and finally, forgo to wind and mast.
Give in to where this life will lead, and follow happily.
Grace and peace will be with you, along with sympathy.
How long is it before you know what purpose this has wrought?
Heaven waits to tell its tales so all comes not to naught.
Instead of lashing out in rage, or fear, or what you will,
I've found that it is better far to wait and just be still.
Just because you feel much hurt, and helpless, on your own,
Justifies your actions not, for this is not your throne.
Kindly sit there humbly, and learn what I must learn.
Kiss the hand of He who saves and you will never burn.
Learn this well, for I have not: You seek not what you want.
Laugh at me, oh if you must, but pleasure is a haunt.
Merry are the men indeed whose deeds are not in vain.
Much of what we do and say leads not to joy, but pain.
Not that we intentionally bring about such vice;
Never would we seek to be the pair of losing dice.
Of course, you see, how often we are those who draw first blood.
Oughtn't we, instead be free to dam the coming flood?
Perhaps it would be better then to live a life apart.
Persuade me if it is not so that you can keep your heart.
Quit this mad pursuit of yours to finish this begun.
Quite enough is said by now to blacken this day's sun.
Rejoin the world of yesterday, when fools were still in love.
Reject the fact that you are now left holding broken dove.
Stay in the dreams and memories that got you to this place.
Surround yourself with visions of the end of this lost race.
Try to be a saltless sea of tears that are not shed,
To make the home of all your dreams within a marriage bed.
Until the day you wake from sleep and find that all is lost,
Uproot your last restraint of will and think not what this cost.
Vanity, all vanity, to think that joy is yours.
Verily, I say to you: It's not within these shores.
Why must we be cursed to see this life as all there is?
Where has madness left us now, for we could yet be His.
Xerxes tried to replace her: Queen Vashti, cherished prize,
Yet what he got was so much more held in her Jewish eyes.
Yes, so I close with tears of joy, for beauty not yet mine.
Zion waits to welcome me, but I will take my time.